When cracking anxiety isn't that easy

So I'm back after a so called my longest holiday I have ever had after quite sometimes. It's very thrilling It made me feel like I wanna be giving up everything I have been struggling which is no way. It's just a happy delusions to me. If only I can move people from my hometown to  here things would be different like literally.
I guess if I would be accused to have a mental disorder I would claim myself a high level of anxiety that haunts me often and disappear then appear. It irritates me that I can feel my heart burst like roller coaster. I guess that's it for today