Shall I stay?

my heart has been fluttered around and I started to felt a player myself inside me. I have been.... not in a serious relationship for 7 years and these whole process of short-term relationship and crushes breaking me even apart. Those trauma I went through is the worst decision and mistakes I have ever chosen I acknowledge. I wish I could turn back time, things could be different and so I won't be afraid. I am now not afraid for pleasure relationship. But thinking of doing it for real now, serious one I somehow feel insecure and scared. I want to start again but sometimes people come and go, I am hopeless but I wanna feel in love and butterfly again. Like literally longer butterflies..