life is never nothing

I believe that all we have are now different, what we had and now we have, is indeed turning upside down. Some people might probably complaining of how sucks life sometimes can turn to be. but we all know that life is never stable, no matter how great you life is created, we will still complain, but one point is I truly completely understand that you create the life you eager, achieving what we own desire, and never in one second I had ever done that, because until now I have never figured one single thing I wanna become. because life is not something like let it flow. I have to say it's one year and half to go and I am thorough, I have this kind of fear, deep down inside my heart's fear that I couldn't absolutely taking it under control because It is now starting to joking around my nerves and It's no longer bearable, It's now scary to achieving my own goal, I have one in my mind I've never  spoken to a soul, but it might change because things change. Why do we live the life we don't even know what the future will take you? or Simply what do i want to be..